Spellbound
by konnokyo
Summary: Tony can't sleep anymore. Even when Pepper moved in, he continued to wake from nightmares. The sleep deficit slowly drains his sanity, making him work even more to forget what happened in New York. One sleepless night the god of mischief pays him a visit. A visit that could help or destroy him ultimately. Warnings: Loki/Tony , references to Iron Man 3
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I saw Iron Man 3 and just had to write something with this topic. So eh yeah.  
Warnings: If you didn't watch that awesome movie yet, there may be some spoilers. Also, it contains slight non/con and and angsty!bottom!Tony. Be warned! I am uncertain if I should write a sequel to this, dunno yet. Tell me what you think =)_

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It's been like this for the last few months after the invasion of New York. Aliens slaughtering children, people screaming, running for their lives. Collapsing buildings, bloodcurdling noises and blood everywhere. And the missile. The bomb that should end it all. Him flying through the portal, ready to sacrifice himself and the moment he blacked out, the explosion, the last thing he saw.

He started up from his sleep, drenched in sweat, panting as if he would suffocate. Trembling, he looked up, seeing the Mark 42 standing right next to the bed, ready to attack whatever startled the man. A quick wave with his hand was enough to dismantle the mechanic suit, leaving it shattered on the floor.

Tony sighed and shot a glance over his shoulder. The space next to him was empty. Again. Pepper had obviously given up on sleeping in the same bed as him. He laughed bitterly. Who could even blame her for it. If someone wakes you with screams and attacks you in his dreams, well, there's only so much you can take. It even went so far that the Mark 42 tried to attack her when she wanted to wake him from the nightmares. No, she wasn't to blame.

Ever since the Chitauri invasion he was dreaming of it. The event which made him even more of a hero was haunting him in his dreams, won't let him sleep more than two hours a night. Giving him panic attacks when someone just spoke of it. It was tearing him apart from the inside. And since months now he wasn't sleeping through anymore, spending every night in his workshop, working on everything to keep his mind from thinking, remembering. It often ended with him passing out on his bench.

Tony sat up on the bed and looked at the alarm clock. Three am in the morning. He sighed and ran both hands over his face. A small chuckled left him. At least today he had managed to at least sleep three hours, but at this rate he wouldn't be able to go on like this any longer. It was already draining on his sanity, making him frantic and panicky and the longer the insomnia lasted, the worse got his condition. Tony heaved a sigh and slumped down on the bed, covering his eyes with his hand, not moving for another five minute. He couldn't go on like this. It was too much, even for him. Those pictures were in his mind's eye. Every hour, on every day.

Tony dragged himself down the stairs into the living room and he closed his eyes in despair. The couch on which Pepper used to sleep these last couple of weeks was empty, untouched. She wasn't there. A piece of paper was laying on the coffee table. Tony took it and sank down on the couch when he read the letter. Pepper wouldn't come back for the time being. Staying with a friend, until he would sort things out.

Tony crumbled up the paper and threw it to the ground. A bitter laugh escaped him. Why did he always break everything he touched. He couldn't dare to lose Pepper, the only person he had left. Tony lay his head back and just sat in the darkness for a while, before the AI's voice piped up from the speakers.

"Should I light the room up, Sir?"

Tony faked a smile.

"No. It fits the sentiment."

It was quite again. Silence that was not comfortable at all. Tony sighed again and buried his face in his hands. Maybe Rhodey was right the day when he flipped in that bar. Panic attack. Post-traumatic stress disorder he had called it. But even if he was right, the realization didn't help at all. He wasn't going to commit himself to an institution. He snorted at his thoughts and got up, stalking away in the direction of his workshop. He typed in the code for the glass door, it opened with a beep, light flooding the room, making his eyes hurt.

"Damn, Jarvis, dim the lights." He hissed and covered his eyes with a hand until the AI complied.

"My apologies, Sir. What are you going to waste your nighttime on today?"

Tony grumbled at the biting sarcasm.

"Should I opened the last safe file of the Mark 42?"

The man considered it, but waved off.

"No, let's play around with the new prototype. Open the MR Suit design, will you."

Jarvis did as he was told and displayed the newest blueprint on the biggest touchscreen. Tony spend the next hour with reconfiguring and realigning parts and muttering his discontent over Jarvis' cockiness.

"Give me a manipulable model."

The room filled with the projections of the suit, Tony leaned back in his chair and rolled a few meters back to have a better overview.

"Interesting, Stark."

Tony gasped for air. His blood ran cold instantly at the voice that came from behind him and he didn't even dare to turn around to see the source of it. It made his skin crawl. This really couldn't be. It had to be a hallucination, caused by the sleep deprivation or the panic attacks. But the voice continued to sound through the room, making him finally turn around and raise from the chair, eying the other man in shock.

"Am I not welcomed here?"

Tony couldn't do anything but stare at the god of mischief, standing right there in his workshop, grinning into his face. Tony clenched his hands into fists and moved a step back when the god waltzed towards him, dressed in his full armor.

"How did you get in here? Jarvis should have been able to read your signatures."

He asked, but reconsidered his words.

"No don't tell me, I don't want to know..."

Loki just smirked at the man trying to cope with the situation. The god strutted around the room, examining all of Tony's suits and the designs projected to the air, seemingly interested. Tony shot a desperate glance over to the shards of his suit, lying on his workbench, just barely out of reach. He reached out for the glove, the piece of metal creaked and started moving slightly, before it flew through the air and attached itself to his arm. His hand raised and he aimed at the god who still paced the room, but didn't bother to look at him.

"I wouldn't recommend this."

He just stated casually and Tony could imagine that smug grin on his face. Tony did nothing to let his defense fall, still aiming at Loki when he finally turned around and mused.

"Why is it you didn't contact your allies yet? Wouldn't it be a simple task to hand me over?"

The god cocked his head and stopped walking. Tony gulped at the question.

"Jarvis?" He almost screamed.

"Yes, Sir?"

Instead of getting Fury on the phone, Tony stayed silent, never breaking the eye contact with the other. Loki narrowed his eyes at the pause and his grin grew even wider.

"What keeps you from calling out?"

He took a few steps towards the engineer and earned a warning shot with the repulsor, to which he raised his hands in defense and faked a shocked expression.

"I am not here to fight."

Tony cracked a smile at this.

"Sure. Whatever." He snarled. "One more step and I blow your head off. Dunno if it will kill you, but it sure will hurt like hell."

Loki shrugged.

"Oh, I think I can imagine."

The god was clearly too amused by this whole situation, so Tony fired another warning shot at him. Unfortunately the god dodged that... warning shot and tsked.

"Ups." Tony smiled when the god grimaced.

"What do you want here, Reindeer Games? Shouldn't you be imprisoned somewhere in that castle of yours?"

Loki exaggerated a sigh and moved unpercievedly a few more steps in on him.

"Mortals do ask too many questions." He mocked and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Let me just imply that my dearest brother still thinks me as confined."

Tony shut his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He knew they should have kept that motherfucker here, where they could have watched him. Stupid magic bastard really went on his nerves.

"Well, I never really thought they could hold you for long."

He examined the repulsor of his suit and shot the god an annoyed glance.

"Since you already showed us that your people apparently have a problem with completing a certain task." He taunted, making the god in front of him grind his teeth.

"So. Why are you here?"

Tony asked through gritted teeth, threatening the god with his repulsor. When there was no answer, Tony addressed Jarvis again.

"Jarvis, call Shield."

Loki started to grin again.

"Oh..."

He narrowed his eyes and almost flew through the room, too fast for Tony to even react, grabbed Tony's armored arm and held it still.

"Don't act like this." He chuckled. "If I remember correctly, you did offer me a drink, did you not?"

Tony was taken aback by this, struggling under the firm grip of the god. He swallowed.

"Believe me when I say, that I am not here to harm."

Loki released the man's arm, at which he stumbled back a few steps.

"Maybe I just seek company." He teased.

Tony huffed.

"Yeah sure, trusting the god of lies, bad idea."

It made the god chuckle again. A sound Tony came to hate by this time. He watched him stroll the room again, never taking eyes from him.

"Indeed."

The god looked at the suits and touched the Mark VIII, Tony boiling inside at the view. He didn't like the bastard touching his stuff.

"Well?"

Tony swallowed the lump in his throat and looked away. He was sure he would regret this the moment he would say yes. Why didn't he just tell Jarvis to call Fury and be done with this shit. Admittedly, that wouldn't be Tony Stark's style. He wouldn't puss out, just because some Nordic god who tried to enslave the world, visited him for a drink. Loki raised an eyebrow at the man from afar, scrutinizing every twitch of his features. Eventually Tony sighed.

"Hang up, Jarvis." He growled.

The god stared in surprise and flashed his teeth.

"Foolish. Isn't it?"

Tony just turned and waved for him to follow, always keeping an eye out for any suspicious motion the god could make. But none came. He just walked calmly after Tony, hands folded behind his back. They passed the living room and reached the bar, where Tony immediately grabbed a bottle and poured himself a drink, chugging it down quickly. Loki stood on the other side of the bar, green eyes scanning every move of the engineer and Tony felt as if they stared right into his very soul.

"What do you want to drink?" He asked, obviously displeased.

"It's not relevant which kind of liquor you offer me."

Tony shook his head and already damned himself for speaking out this invitation in the first place.

"First time for you not being picky, right?"

He sneered and took another glass, filling it up with some aged bourbon, nobody should be able to say he gives out cheap stuff and shoved it towards the god.

"You look awfully tired." It almost made Tony choke on his drink. "How do you sleep lately?"

"What?"

Was the only thing he brought out. Why did he asked this. It's not that the god cared, so why did he bring it up in the first place. Tony narrowed his eyes, staring intensely at the other man.

"I am sleeping well." He lied and noticed Loki's demeanor change almost instantly.

"Is that so?"

Loki grinned knowingly, a grin that sent down goosebumps down Tony's spine and he leaned in to grab the glass.

"Yes." Tony hissed back. "You will be gone as soon as you finished your drink."

He said, emphasizing every word that he forced out. Unfortunately for him, it didn't have the wanted effect, because Loki only stood up straighter and looked down on him, chuckling.

"Oh, I will. Do not worry your little mind."

Tony took another sip of his drink, grimacing at the arrogance.

"So." The noise brought Tony's attention back to him. "What are you dreaming of?"

Okay that was enough. The bastard clearly knew about his insomnia and Tony hated the fact. Damn it. How the fuck did he know about that. The sudden realization made his skin crawl.

"Did you stalk me, you fucking..." He snarled furiously at the smiling god, ready to throw his glass at him.

"Let me just say I came across it unintentionally."

He felt extremely denounced by this. Crept out by the fact that an insane god just went in and out of his home, watching him.

"You even scared away your beloved."

He was making fun of him and Tony couldn't help himself but spit right back.

"Shut up!"

Loki obviously took great pleasure from torturing the man, because he continued to philosophize while standing and walking around in the living room. The dim light made him look even more threatening, the horns making him look like a demon from hell.

"Nightmares are expression of our deepest fears, weaknesses or..." He shot him a glance. "...greatest desires."

Tony felt his heart rate increase and he gasped for air at those words, already too close to having a panic attack again. This couldn't be healthy. He held onto the counter for support. Images of New York flashing through his mind and suddenly he started shivering again, covering his eyes with a hand. When he calmed down enough, he dared to look up again, finding the god looking down on him, barely an inch away.

"I could make them go away."

Tony's eyes widened at this and he retreated, virtually jumping back to get distance between them.

"Why the fuck are you here?!"

"I am here to play."

The god answered and crossed the distance between them, grabbing him painfully hard by his neck and smashing him against the wall. There was no way Tony could escape the firm hands pushing down on him and he already had trouble breathing. He struggled. Panic building inside him and he clawed at the leather clothed arms before he began chuckling hysterically.

"What now? You want to kill, me go ahead, bitch!"

He growled and was released just a second later. He inhaled sharply, tried to steady his breath when he slid down the wall. Loki was laughing now.

"Oh, no, mortal. I won't hurt you, you will break your pitiful pride yourself, much to my delight."

Tony stared in utter incomprehension and tried to crawl back even more when Loki knelt and touched his chest. His fingers clenched down on the arc reactor and Tony looked into those green eyes, gasping, fearing for his life. But instead on ripping the device out of his chest he just felt warmth spreading through his body, so he looked down to see green threads of magic invading his skin. Tony didn't know what happened. He was so drawn in by what was happening that he even forgot to back off. He didn't feel different when the green disappeared again and so he got his usual smug attire back.

"Was that all? Bad mojo if you ask me."

He teased, but couldn't go on when he looked into green eyes, captured by Loki's gaze. The god laughed faintly and raised, took his drink and moved to the couch and sat down, always keeping eye contact with the mortal. Tony picked himself up and cursed. Damn this asshole and his smile. Fucking drama queen. He had enough of this crap.

"Jarvis." Voice hoarse from the choking. "Call..."

"Don't do it." The god interrupted and nipped on his drink.

Tony wanted to complete the sentence and opened his mouth to speak, but no word came out.

"What did you do to me, you piece of shit?!" He snarled and clenched his fists. "That magic. A spell. Damn, you did the same to me that you did to Barton!"

He yelled, but it made Loki just chuckle again.

"No. You are very much yourself, as one can hear."

The god sneered at the use of language. His face was suddenly serious.

"I merely brought the, for you, most unpleasant desires out."

Tony huffed.

"Yeah sure, then it really doesn't work." He mocked. "Because I want your ass handed over to Fury even more now."

Loki crossed his legs and sat the drink aside.

"If this is the case, why don't you come here and show me?"

The question lingered in the air for more than a few seconds, Tony ground his teeth and much to his dislike his legs started moving on their own. This wasn't good. He knew. And he cursed under his breath.

"Fuck."

He was now standing right in front of the smiling god, cheeks blushed with the humiliation of actually following that command. Tony growled, which just added to Loki's amusement.

"Good boy." He praised.

"Fuck you." He averted his gaze to the ground. "Let me go." It was almost a scream. "Why are you fucking doing this?"

Loki smirked and answered in the most calm and reassuring way possible.

"I get myself what I desire. What is righteously mine."

Tony just stood like a deer in the headlights. Open mouthed and completely confused, until the information began to sink in.

"You are insane."

He was furious with rage, yet still he couldn't get himself to leave. Rooted to the spot. He wanted to get out of this disaster, wanted to bury himself in his bed, wanted to be anywhere but here. Still he stood there. As Loki told him, like a good boy. He was so angry he started shivering. Loki was silent the whole time, just eying him up like a product, undecided whether to buy it or not. Tony wanted a fight, not this calmness, not this absoluteness. The god was obviously sure that he had won already. The engineer shut his eyes tight.

"Why?" Was ruefully spoken a few minutes later.

It seemed to wake the god from his quite and he sighed, apparently taking pity on the man before him. He was smiling when he reached out to grab Tony's chin, turning his gaze to him.

"I heard you call out for me in your sleep, calling my name."

He began and with every syllable Tony's eyes widened even more.

"That's why I started to sought this place out in the first place. It fumed my interest as to why the great man of iron would call for me. So I came night after night, until I had seen enough."

Tony tried to cope with that. There was no way that this could be true. Bewildered, he just gazed into the blue. He wouldn't ever...

His trance was broken by the voice in front of him, an almost purring sound, that Tony would never have thought the god could make.

"Kneel."

Tony became petrified by this command.

"You damn bastard." He spat, but couldn't do anything else but comply.

Then he knelt before someone he despised and the shame of being helpless made him turn his gaze to the ground. The person he hated the most at the moment was himself. He death-glared at the god when his chin was once again yanked up.

"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. There is nothing to be embarrassed about."

Loki was looking him up again and Tony began shivering uncontrollably when fingers started roaming the area of his neck.

"You will regret the day you first came to this planet."

Tony threatened, but it fell on deaf ears. Nothing but an amused, "Hm." came from the god. Loki had a thing for torturing and right now Tony wished for him to just beat him to unconsciousness. The gentleness with which he drew his fingers over Tony's body was too much. Tony could endure a beating, but at this rate his own flesh would betray him. He shut his eyes when a hand ran down his side, caressing his hip bone, pushing his shirt up and testing the skin beneath. This was not right. This should never happen. Loki's touch was electrifying, making his skin itchy and his mind uneasy. He shouldn't react like this.

Tony shut his eyes again, trying to block out what was happening to him, but it intensified the feeling of the fingers even more and he had to suppress a moan when fingers teased his waistband. Maybe Loki would grew tired of him when he wouldn't respond to his advances. Tony knew that this was very unlikely to happen. The god drew too much pleasure out of this. A sharp pain in his neck made him open his eyes in shock.

"Get up."

Before Tony could even understand what was demanded from him, he was yanked to his feet and pulled on the god's lap. Tony snarled at the manhandling and tried to get away, but it was no use. Loki held him in place with his strength and Tony cursed again when those hands got back to their task. Loki slid his fingers into the back of his pants, groping his ass and Tony inhaled sharply, but kept glaring at him.

It was when Loki leaned in to kiss and lick over his neck, that a low moan unwittingly escaped Tony's throat. Immediately he raised his hand to his mouth, covering it, embarrassed by himself. Loki just laughed at him, biting into the sensitive flesh before retreating, eying the man and the growing bulge in his pants.

"Open your pants."

The command was clear and Tony wanted to spit him in the face for it.

"Fuck you!"

Loki just smirked at the insults. "All in good time, boy."

At this moment Tony abandoned all hope to get out of this. He bared his teeth in desperation when his hands started fiddling with his zipper and released the straining cock. The glance with that Loki looked at him was nothing but pure triumph. Lust was clearly visible in those vivid green eyes and it scared Tony that he couldn't help the growing craving inside of himself.

"You piece of shit."

He spat and the god's face changed to a more annoyed one. Loki waved a hand and a piece of fabric appeared out of nowhere, gagging the startled man.

"Enough with this inappropriate muttering, touch yourself."

Tony protest was muted by the gag and he let out a strangled whine when the god kept looking at him. There was nothing he could do, he kept telling himself, so his hand reached down to cup his cock, running his hand up and down slowly, lazily. Those green eyes never left him and he felt his erection twitch in his fingers. He stroked himself faster, lost in the moment. Lost in the humiliation and rising lust. Tony quit trying to keep his voice low, now moaning against the gag and shutting his eyes in pleasure at the feeling. He was already near the edge when Loki grabbed his hand.

"Stop."

Tony whined and pleaded with his eyes, but the god only chuckled and held the man's wrists in his.

"Do not worry, pitiful being, I won't leave you like this. I can be merciful." Loki whispered in his ear, causing the man to shiver again. "Now show me what you want to do."

Tony gulped and dropped his gaze in embarrassment. His cock stood proudly in the air and he needed to touch it, but since he wasn't allowed, Tony damned himself again for this, there was only one other way to get the wanted friction. He placed his hands on the god's shoulders and leaned in, wanting to grind himself against the god in his need, but winced when his erection met cold metal. Loki huffed a laugh and gestured with his hand, making his armor disappear so that only the fine linen clothes remained. Tony pressed himself against him almost instantly, making the god chuckle once more.

"So wanton, can't you help yourself anymore?" He teased, but heard no reply to this, just the panting right next to his ear.

Tony laid his head on the shoulder and inhaled the god's scent. He was panting hard by now and didn't realize that Loki magicked his clothes away, until he got lifted to his knees. He was embarrassed. To be naked was another kind of intimacy that he didn't want. Loki gestured down and Tony followed the hint to look at the obvious erection under all that linen. One of Loki's hands opened his pants, freeing his cock. Realization struck Tony and he gazed into the other's eyes in horror, trying to get away, but was brutally held in place by Loki. He started sobbing when the god positioned him over his cock.

"Maybe I won't do it, when you tell me to stop."

Tony kept looking at him when Loki made the gag disappear, unable to bring just one word over his lips. Loki smirked and pushed the man down, entering him slowly, but steady, causing him to yell out in pain. A tear ran down his face and he started sobbing uncontrollably, clawing at the god's shoulder for support. A hand cupped his cheek and he could hear Loki whispering words in a foreign language into his ear. He didn't know what he said, but the tone was soothing enough for him to relax. Loki gave him some moment to adjust before the next command was given.

"Move."

Despite the overwhelming pain, Tony couldn't help but move his hips slightly. It wasn't his first time with a man. He knew that the pain would soon fade into pleasure, but he still winced with every motion. Loki leaned back and smiled, obviously enjoying the show. Tony hung his head in shame and slowly the sobs and whines turned into moans when Tony kept impaling himself on the cock. Brown eyes met lust-filled green ones and Tony cursed when he saw that pleased smile that crept on Loki's lips.

"Damn it."

Loki admired the view and let out a small moan.

"So wanton, boy. You are a natural."

Tony wanted to cuss, but threw his head back and moaned shamelessly when Loki rocked his hips, hitting Tony's prostate.

"God."

Loki laughed at the outcry and kept bucking his hips, thrusting into the man, until he looked into pleading brown eyes.

"Beg."

Tony whined, desperate for release, his pride already cast away, so he did as he was told.

"Please."

He begged and Loki quickly grasped his cock, smearing the precum over the head, making Tony's eyes roll back into his head. Loki stroked him in time with his thrusts, rolling his hips to aim for the sweat spot inside him. Tony came with a loud moan over his hand and shirt, clenching around Loki's cock, making him come within him with a low growl. He was still panting when the god gripped his hip, pulled out and shoved him off of him. Tony sat on the couch when Loki got up, suddenly cleaned up and in full armor again. He sobbed quietly, regret and shame sinking in and he hugged himself.

"Lift the spell."

Loki turned around to look at the naked man.

"What spell?"

He smirked and Tony inhaled sharply, snarling and cursing at the god in front of him. He couldn't be serious. Tony swallowed and was perplexed by the words that just were spoken. Loki cocked his head to the side, seemingly amused by the man's repression.

"I know it is hard for mortals to face the truth."

Loki was about to leave when Tony extended a hand.

"Wait." It made the god stop in his tracks. "You promised..."

The god examined the miserable human and stepped closer.

"Yes, boy, you will sleep through this night."

Both men exchanged a glance, green eyes grew softer and Loki removed his cape, wrapping it around him. A hand caressed Tony's cheek again before it moved to his forehead, green magic swirling around his fingers again. Loki chugged his drink and smiled one last time, vanishing into thin air. It was the last thing Tony remembered before he fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Yeah second chapter. I'm sorry Tony that I'm doing this to you, haha... So yeah, tell me if you like it.  
_

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**Chapter 2: Addiction**

When Tony opened his eyes, Pepper sat in the armchair across from the couch and stared at him. He didn't know for how long she had already sat there. Watching someone sleep was kind of strange in Tony's opinion.

"Good Morning." Her voice was cheerful, sounded like she was truly happy. "I'm glad you were able to get your well-deserved sleep."

The smile on her face raised Tony out of his sleeping trance. Only now he realized that he felt good. For the first time in a long while, he felt rested and refreshed. It was odd. Pepper pointed to him and narrowed her eyes.

"What is this you're wearing?"

Tony's gaze fell to his own body and he immediately went rigid.

"What did you do the last few days?" The woman asked with a smile.

His brain was working to comprehend the question. Last few days... How long had he been asleep exactly? Tony's fingers unconsciously moved over the silky fabric of the green coat that covered him. Suddenly he remembered that he wasn't wearing anything underneath. Damn. Memories of the last night, or better, the last night he remembered, flooded his brain. The things that had happened made him take a deep breath and shift to an upright position, just to feel the burning pain in his lower body.

He was still sore. Hadn't expect anything else. But now Pepper sat right in front of him. Looking at him with those beautiful eyes, not suspecting a thing. He felt like crap. Was ashamed of himself. How could he do this to her. Tony ran a hand through his hair. It was sticky, just as the rest of his body. Dirty. All he wanted at the moment was to take a bath or shower, to be alone and not see Pepper's happy face.

He couldn't even look at her. Couldn't possibly tell her. This was bad. There was only one way to not hurt her. Lying. But damn, he would ruin his relationship with this. Again. He wondered if he would even be able to continue as if nothing had ever happened. Probably not.

"You know..." He began, gesturing with his hands, careful not to let the coat fall too far down. "I was in the shower...yesterday..."

She didn't need to know that he had slept for so long.

"...and I found this old, crappy thing in the farthest corner of my closet, dunno what exactly that is, but I figured it would be better to have that on, than to run around naked. I blame the sleep deprivation."

His face was straight, trying to bring the lie across and apparently Pepper took the bait, because her smile widened and she started laughing. Obviously this was something she thought him to be capable of.

"As long as you feel better now." She joked.

"I do." Tony blurted out, only to slap himself mentally for this a second later.

He did feel better. A lot. Because of that insane Nordic god. He had kept his promise. Tony averted his gaze to the ground and stifled a snarl. Piece of shit raped him. He was fuming inside. The thought was unbearable. He knew it wasn't true, he just needed someone to blame. It was easier for him this way. Nobody needed to know that he had dreamed of Loki. The fact alone made him sick in his stomach. And who would have guessed that the god would actually witness it and react like this. Damn it.

This won't happen again. What ever he had to do to keep the dreams from coming back, he'd do it. Pills or alcohol, didn't matter. Something like this couldn't happen a second time. Pepper was still looking and smiling, despite her raising an eyebrow at his inner monologue. She clearly was glad that he was doing better. Tony knew she was worried for him. She leaned over and touched his cheek.

A simple touch like this made him uncomfortable, feeling guilty. He didn't deserve someone like her. Soft lips pressed gently against his and Tony was immediately reminded of the god kissing him. But the feeling was different. Pepper was his source of peace. Lovable and caring Pepper. The god however was burning passion. Wild, indomitable. Exiting. Loki's hot lips all over him, his body trembling in anticipation. He hated himself for thinking about him while his love kissed him.

Tony couldn't kiss back, but Pepper didn't seem to mind. She would shrug it off, Tony was often lost in thoughts, so she wouldn't wonder about it now. Her voice dragged him back to reality.

"I'm glad you were finally able to sleep. You really work too much lately, Tony. You need to take a break."

Her confident smile made his heart ache. A hand cupped his cheek, thumb caressing the skin and Tony heaved a heavy sigh.

"Unfortunately I can't stay any longer, there are some important and boring people I have to meet, but I will be back as soon as I can." She promised and stood, smiling again at her lover. "And you won't work so much, got it?"

Tony nodded and watched the redhead move to the elevator. He ran hands over his face, not moving for another few minutes, until he opened his eyes again and his gaze fell on the coffee table. He cursed himself. Pepper had brought him breakfast.

"Oh god... What are you doing, Tony?"

Head buried in his hands and sighed again. How could all of this had ever happened. The cape slid down his back and again a hand ran over the fabric to feel the softness of it. It clung to him like a second skin. Never had he thought the god would leave it behind for him to sleep in. Tony felt good, but his body was aching and he cursed the god for doing this to him. Everything was broken now. It was the first time in ages that Tony was happy with another person and he had ruined it.

Tony moved to stand up, holding the cape up with one hand, other on the armrest of the couch for support. His back hurt, the fault of the uncomfortable furniture and Tony felt how something dripped down his tight. Right, the piece of shit had come inside him and hadn't even the decency to clean him up. Tony grimaced and stalked towards the bathroom. The cape was discarded on the floor and Tony stood in front of the mirror, looking at himself. He couldn't stand his face anymore. A fist found the glass, shattering it into pieces. Blood dripped on the white of the sink and Tony laughed bitterly.

"Damn..."

The next few days Tony worked in his workshop, spending all his time there, despite what Pepper had said. He had new energy and wanted to use it to complete some of his pending projects, he couldn't just sit in front of the TV and do nothing. That was just not his style. Cloistering himself from anything and anyone but Pepper, he worked like a madman, even when she advised against it.

When she stopped by to bring him some food or spend time with him, he had trouble to behave normal around her. Of course she had noticed that something had changed. She wasn't stupid, so she let him be, tried not to disturb him too much. But even when Tony finally came up to sleep, he couldn't bring himself to get intimate with her. He loved her, sure, but something was wrong with him since Loki had visited him.

Up until now he had slept well. And he had been positive that his insomnia had finally vanished. But the nightmares came back, woke him in the middle of the night, startling Pepper and driving her more and more away. And now he was slowly loosing his mind.

* * *

Three weeks had passed since the nightmares had reappeared. Tony didn't even leave his workshop, not going out anymore, ordered food and buried himself in work. Not even Pepper caught sight of him.

It was dark in the workshop. Tony sat at a wall across from his suits, sipping on a glass of whiskey and examining them in frustration. He was drained. Nothing worked out anymore. It felt as if someone had sucked the life out of him. Without him being able to sleep, there was nothing else he could do. He didn't want the nightmares to return. So he spent the last days on the floor, drinking himself into oblivion. Doing anything to keep him from thinking or dreaming. The bottle next to him was already half empty and he felt the familiar stirring in his stomach.

Tony didn't even bother to look up when the door to the upper floor beeped and opened. Without looking up he could tell by the murmuring that it was Rhodey who had come in. He fixed his gaze on the man on the floor, brows furrowed when he made his way over to him.

"What are you doing, Tony?"

His voice was layered with concern and Tony averted his gaze to not have to look into the other's eyes. Rhodey knelt down next to him and took the glass out of his hand, putting it out of his reach, before he did the same with the bottle. Tony grumbled at him, trying to get it back, but failing miserably due to the dizziness that suddenly overcame him.

He had ignored the first question completely and now stared at the man before him.

"What do you want? Don't you see I'm busy?"

Tony groaned in annoyance at the mere presence of him. Rhodey was never the one able to see a joke and even now he just stared back straight-faced. Hands grabbed Tony's shoulders, shaking him gently to bring his attention back to him.

"What's wrong with you? You don't even show your face anymore. The press goes wild about you and they aren't the only ones that are worried about your disappearance."

A reproachful look was shot Tony's way and made him grunt again. Of course he knew who he meant. Damn him and his accusations. Rhodey's face was serious. Tony hated that expression. It was the one he used to make him feel guilty. And he was succeeding in doing so. Rhodey sighed.

"You shut yourself off, not just from your friends, but also from Pepper."

Yes, there it was. He had expected that Pepper needed someone to talk to, but that it had to be Rhodey. The person basically being his conscience. It was annoying.

"Oh, come on..." Tony moaned and looked away.

Rhodey's gaze was fixed on his friend, one hand still lingering on his shoulder.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing." He spat.

"Yeah, I can see that." Rhodey grimaced, sarcasm in his voice. "You aren't yourself, tell me what's wrong."

Tony couldn't say anything. Even if he'd wanted to. Really what should he tell him. Hey, he was fucked by their arch-enemy and he felt good after it for a couple of days and now the whole ordeal started again, made him crazy. Yeah, maybe in his dreams he could tell anyone. But this was the real world and he didn't want to take the chance of getting fucked over, again. Rhodey took the silence as a chance to continue.

"You look awful."

Tony faked a smile.

"Wow! Thanks for telling me! I didn't know this before."

The sarcasm was acrid now. Normally Tony wouldn't talk to him like this. Rhodey was one of his only friends, but he couldn't bring himself to be nice at the moment. He was too worn out, too tired. The only thing he wanted to do now was drinking until passed out and forgot everything that had happened. And now Rhodey's gaze weighted even heavier on him, trying to figuring him out.

"Tony..." His voice cut through the silence. "Do you still have panic attacks?"

Tony suddenly turned to face the man. It was a reasonable question. But he wasn't in the mood to talk about any of this. Talking always made things worse. While trying to get up from the ground , he stumbled over his own feed, only to get caught by his friend. He pushed him away almost immediately and leaned against the wall, hands running over his face to make the feeling of dizziness go away. To Rhodey's bewilderment the man started to chuckle. The sound of it made him grumble.

"Are you here only to moralize? You know what? Don't bother."

Tony grunted and staggered towards the alcohol stash to get another bottle, since Rhodey made sure to keep the half empty one from his reach. But his efforts were to no avail. His arm was grabbed and he was spun around.

"I know you have problems with accepting help in general, but we are worried about you." The man's grip was getting firmer on his arm. "So stop being so selfish and self-destructive and let us help you!"

Tony laughed bitterly now. His gaze dropped to the floor, unable to help himself from shaking.

"How?"

The question seemed to surprise Rhodey.

"What?"

"How would you be able to help me?"

The smile that crept on Tony's lips was sad and he narrowed his eyes.

"Can you turn back the clock? Can you change my whole being, who I am and what became of me? Can you keep me from dreaming?"

The sight of his friend so wounded and broken hurt Rhodey and he wanted to tell him otherwise, that they could endure this together, but he stayed silent, staring at him with sorrowful eyes.

"Tony..."

The man freed himself from the grip and took a few steps backwards, legs still not completely under his control.

"No, just... Leave me alone."

For the longest moment Rhodey simply stood there, not knowing whether he should go or not. It was dangerous to leave Tony in a state like this, but what should he do. The man would never talk about this nightmares. After a moment's hesitation he decided that he would leave, but not without taking the alcohol with him, much to Tony's discontent.

"I will check on you, be sure on that. No more alcohol." He said before leaving the workshop, casting one last glance over his shoulder.

Rhodey really was like his mother sometimes. And Tony hated this mothering. Fortunately for him there still was one last bottle. His last reserve. Now he didn't have to sober up. Sometime after midnight the bottle was empty and Tony had passed out on the floor.

* * *

When he finally awoke, it was dark outside. He didn't know if it was still the same night or the next evening. Not just his head hurt like hell, but due to him passing out on the floor, his back ached too. Tony tried to pick himself up, briefly wondering that he hadn't slept in his own vomit. At least now his _experienced_ liver had some advantages.

He laid his head back against the wall and sighed. This whole thing was enough to drive him to despair. With his eyes closed, the pictures of New York were almost instantly returning. He felt like crying, giving vent to the pent-up tension and emotion within him. Why him? Why did this have to be him. All he wanted was one moment of peace. A moment when he didn't have to think or feel.

The thought made him cringe. There was only one who was able to give him that in the last couple of months. His enemy, the insane god. Tony growled at his own irrationality. This was wrong. Even thinking of it was wrong. But his frustration and desperation grew by the minute. He just wanted to forget. Even if that meant that the god was using him again. Maybe this was the exact thing he needed.

So he cried out for him. Screamed the god's name over and over again, to come on and take what he had said was his. After a few minutes of calling the god, his voice was dangerously close to begging. Tony dropped his head.

"Please."

He was degrading himself here and still, the room stayed silent and dark. Nothing happened. No green, no smoke. Why did he even think that the god would show mercy for him. Tony huffed and his fist hit the ground. Damn him. Fuck that piece of shit. He was furious with the god for leaving him like this. It felt like an addiction. He was dragged into an abyss of desperation and need, not being able to get out on his own. And he hated himself for it. This was worse than torture, worse than anything Loki could ever do to him. Never had he thought that one event would change him so drastically. And now he was sitting in his workshop, huddled up on the floor, sobbing like a child. Tony buried his face in his arms, remaining in this position.

"I need you..."

This was one of the scarce moments when Tony didn't know what to do. Normally so smug and confident, he was nothing like his usual self. How pathetic he was. Praying for his enemy to return to him. Tony laughed bitterly and closed his eyes. Maybe this was the right thing after all. It would only cause more harm than help if the god appeared. So Tony resigned himself to the fact that the god would not show up and closed his eyes to get a bit of rest. He was so tired, even after sleeping through the whole last day.

The next thing he knew was that his phone was vibrating, disturbing him from his doze. That annoying thing didn't stop bugging him until he finally took it out of his pocket and answered.

"What?!" He gnarled, still giddy from sleep.

"Get out of bed, Stark!" A female voice sounded from the other line.

Romanov clinked as if she was hounded, husky and out of breath. Judging by her calling, there had to be something wrong. Nice. The last thing that Tony needed right now. More trouble. He cursed himself for answering the fucking phone before checking the number. Nothing but a groan left his throat.

"We need you at East Lake Tohopekaliga, now! Move your ass!"

With that she hung up, giving Tony no choice to protest. He sighed and pulled himself together. This was gonna be a long day.

* * *

Tony flew circles over the lake, trying to make out his comrades. The Captain and the agents were fighting against enemies, unknown to him. One of them was grossly distorted, seemed like a mixture of snake and robot and Tony was barely able to prevent Barton to get hit by a poisonous dart in the very last minute. He had tackled the villain to the ground, pinning the strange individual down and knocking him out with a hit to the head.

"What the fuck is this freak?"

Natasha turned to him, before quickly dodging a knife.

"They call themselves the Serpent Society." She shouted out to him.

"Obviously." Tony rolled his eyes and fired his repulsors.

"We need to get to the other side! These are just cannon fodder, trying to distract us!"

The Captain freed himself from an amphibious brute and struck him with his shield, breaking his jaw bone. A pretty normal looking female was busy with some kind of gadget, placing it in the water and stuck a phial into the machine. Instantly Tony was up in the air, speeding towards the figure, aiming his rockets at her. Fortunately for him they had a lock-on function. He had problems seeing clearly and flying was hard enough, but actually aiming was out of his league at the moment. But the rockets didn't hit their target fast enough. The female glared at him from the distance before she waved her hand and Tony was grabbed from underneath him, pulled underwater with enormous speed.

That something wasn't about to let go and just now Tony realized that it was a giant snake, drilling its fangs into his suit. He had to do something. Anything. If it continued like this, he would drown. The interface already showed multiple malfunction windows. The beast's grip was too tight on him. Damn it. Tony activated his laser, cutting through its flesh, separating body from head, giving him just enough room to free himself from the death-grip.

He rushed to the surface and out of the water, hovering above the lake. His armor was wrecked, but at least he had escaped that snake-thing.

"Tony?!" You alright?" Barton shouted, only to shoot an arrow right next to his head, killing the serpent behind him.

Damn, his senses really were limited.

"That was by a hair's breadth. Thanks." The engineer answered and flew towards his comrades.

They stood back to back, taking out one enemy after another. Tony's sight started to get blurry. This wasn't good. He was breathing heavily, supporting his weight on his knees when the last enemy dropped. Barton and Natasha investigated the strange machine, while Steve shot him a glance.

"You okay?"

What was it with these people always asking? There was a mask of gold alloy between them and still it seemed to be written across his face.

"Nothing, let's go." He uttered and followed the Captain to the assassins.

"So?" Steve began. "What were they trying to do?"

The expression on Natasha's face was indifferent as always, but she held the phial in her hand and inspected it.

"We need to run test on the fluid. Can't determined what it is by just looking at it."

Well, doh.

"Bet it's poisonous." Tony sneered and earned a raised eyebrow from Steve.

"Whatever it is..." The female turned to them to stop the hassle before it could even start. "They wanted to spread it through the water."

The soldier and the woman discussed things, Tony didn't knew what they chatted about, didn't bother to listen anymore. He was feeling terrible, sick even, might as well had a fever.

"Are we done then?"

The complain was not well received by the Captain, but he still waved at him to bugger off. One rare moment of him not being a dick about something. Tony took off almost immediately, the only thing he wanted to do now was sleep.

* * *

The way back to his home was plastered with him almost falling from the sky a few times. When he finally managed to arrive in Miami, he discarded the suit, didn't care for it anymore. With these holes it was barely more than scrap metal. At least he had a new task for the next couple of days. Fixing it. Or building a new one. Didn't matter, as long as he had something to occupy his mind with. Tony collapsed into bed, clothes still on and almost instantly fell asleep.

* * *

It was that dream again. He started from his sleep, panting and sweating. But that was not the only thing that alarmed him. When he opened his eyes, green orbs stared down at him. Apparently disgusted with what they saw. Tony was at a loss for words, confused and uncertain of what to do now. The god did nothing but looking down on him and Tony couldn't help but shivering, averting his gaze from the judging green. Loki was in his full armor, standing next to the bed, towering over him. The silence was unbearable for Tony. He tried to evade his eyes, searching for a point to focus on.

"I..." Stammering, he clenched his fists into the sheets, embarrassed with himself.

Loki cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

"What is it, Stark?" The tone was biting.

Tony didn't answer. Couldn't answer. The god grew increasingly tired with the mortal the more time elapsed without him saying anything.

"If there is no good reason why you called me here..."

Those green eyes ceased from scrutinizing the man and the god turned on his heels, green evading from his hand, about to teleport away and now Tony managed to break from his rigidity. He didn't want him to leave. Not after he had finally come.

"Wait..." A hand reached out to the god. "I need..."

The words got stuck in his throat, but still they brought Loki to face him again, a smug smile playing on his lips.

"What exactly do you need from me, mortal?"

Tony ground his teeth.

"Need you..."

Loki knelt down to be at the man's eye level. Pleading eyes were focused on him and Loki's hand touched his cheek, caressing the skin with his thumb.

"I know, boy."

The contact was intimidating and Tony was unsure of how to react to it. His body craved for more. His brain told him this was wrong. And he was caught in between. When Loki noticed him trembling and absorbed in thought, he grabbed his hair and yanked forward. They were merely an inch away from each other, sharing the same air and Tony swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Fear not. I will lead you."

With that the god closed the distance between them, kissed the slightly smaller man fiercely, making him cling to him. Tony parted his lips, allowing Loki's tongue to explore his mouth. He licked over his bottom-lip before biting down hard. He moaned in pain, tasted his own blood on his tongue and tightened his grip on the god, pressing against the armor. When they finally parted, Tony was already panting. Loki's gaze was still hard and piercing, making Tony wince and look away, before the god actually sighed and kissed his neck.

"I know how hard it is."

It might have been the first time the god had shown any sympathy at all, but Tony couldn't focus on that now. The lips and tongue on his skin were too distracting to form a clear thought and he bent his head back to give him more space, whimpering and moaning under the god's caress. His pants were already too tight, cock straining for attention and Loki was eager to comply, trailing his hands over Tony's back, pulling him on his lap. His hands started to cup his ass, messaging and teasing until the man begged for more.

"Please..."

A wink with the hand followed, magicked his clothes away, drawing out a yelp of surprise from the man, now sitting naked against the leather and steel of Loki's armor. There was a short moment of silence between them, Tony not daring to move or do anything, completely intimidated by the god's magic. Whereas Loki seemed to enjoy their little play more and more. The smile on his lips was almost feral and the way he looked down on Tony made him uncomfortable.

"Does your silence mean that the playboy actually is at a loss of what to do?"

Normally the amusement would have pissed him off, but now it was just part of their toing and froing, and Tony accepted the fact that he wasn't in control. Loki grabbed his erection, stroking slowly, bathing in the little noises the man let loose. He was moaning wantonly, bucking against the hand.

It was strange for him that Loki kept his armor on, dominating might have been the right word for it. Like a master and a slave. Nothing Tony would ever like to actually participate in. Especially when he was the submissive one. And now it seemed as if the god only did this out of pity. He didn't know if the god enjoyed it. There was no sign of it whatsoever. And Tony didn't like pity. It was weakness. And he was about to change that. His hand reached down, wanted to touch Loki's groin, but his wrist was ruggedly grabbed, a growl followed the gesture.

"You don't touch until I tell you to."

The sound was low and threatening and Tony's sudden rebellion died down instantly. No words came out of his mouth, but a simple nod made Loki continue stroking up and down his length. His usual attitude was nowhere to be found, he was too desperate to take the risk of annoying the god. This was good, but Tony needed more, needed to feel him. And this no-touching rule made him edgy as hell. Tony whined when Loki dragged a thumb over the sensitive head.

"Please..."

Green locked on brown and Loki lifted the man off his lap, heaving him onto the bed. Tony's hands were held over his head, Loki's weight pinning him down. Eyes traveled over the mortal's body, before hands slid over his sides, teasing the man. Tony was completely lost in pleasure by now, aching his back, erection standing proudly in the air, twitching under the god's gaze. He looked at Loki through half-lidded eyes and threw his head back when Loki's tongue lashed out to lick at his nipple. Tony moaned when a hand pumped his cock again. He was getting closer and closer to his orgasm, but another hand found his balls, caressing and messaging, before the grip tightened around the base, keeping the man from coming right here and now. Brown eyes opened to see the god grin at him and Tony whimpered under his ministrations.

"Not like this." The deep, charming voice caused him to shiver. "How desperate you must be to actually be able to keep your filthy mouth shut and comply so beautifully." The god crooned and obviously enjoyed the gasp he charmed out of the man. Loki continued stroking him until Tony was about to explode, moaning and whining against the mouth that came down to kiss him again.

"Loki..." The use of his name brought his attention back to Tony's face, flushed with lust. "Please...I..." He stuttered.

Loki released his grip on Tony's balls and let his hand wander lower, circling his entrance with a finger, teasing the tight ring of muscles, before he pushed a finger in. It was nothing like the first time. His body was accepting the digit eagerly, mind too clouded to notice the pain. A second finger soon followed, stretching him open. Tony moaned uncontrollably by now, fucking himself back on the fingers when they brushed against his prostate.

Before he knew what happened, the fingers withdrew and he whined at the loss, squirmed under the other's body. Tony wondered briefly how he could be so slick down there, might have been some kind of magic, but his thoughts were scattered when Loki pressed inside, filling him completely with one thrust. Loki clawed painfully at his hips, slamming into the man.

It burned, but the pain was good, blocking every possible thought from his mind. And he was lost. Lost in the moment, the thrusts, the frantic rhythm of the god pounding into him and his own hip mirroring the movements. Loki was merciless, focusing on his pleasure now, eyes closed with a concentrated expression on his face, lips slightly parted. Seeing the god like this aroused Tony even more and he might have come right here when those mesmerizing eyes had looked at him.

He wanted to touch his straining cock, in need of release, but with a snarl his hand was pinned down by his side. Those green eyes now stared at him and he could hear the god crunch at him.

"Don't test your luck."

It was a stark warning and Tony shivered when Loki lifted his hip, bending the mortal to hit the bundle of nerves inside of him. Tony cried out in bliss, eyes rolling back into his head.

"T-there." He stuttered and without a murmur, Loki complied, aiming, with inhuman precision, for his prostate.

By then, Tony had lost all context for time. He didn't know if they had spent just minutes or hours fucking, but when he finally came over himself, clenching down on Loki's cock, the god growled and followed, spending himself inside the man.

Loki leaned over Tony, panting slightly, strands of hair covering his face, so close that he could smell his scent and suddenly Tony's brain started working again, reminding him of what he was doing. He averted his gaze, biting back a moan when the god pulled out. Of course he had to notice the doubts Tony struggled with, because the god looked down on him with that judging expression again, and he wished the ground would have opened and swallowed him right here.

The silence was awkward between them and Tony grew increasingly uncomfortable, lying there, covered in his own and the god's cum. But this time a gesture of Loki's hand cleaned him up. Tony sat up and observed helplessly when the god turned to leave. A feeling of loneliness flooded him and he wanted to shut his damn mouth, but the words just dripped from his tongue.

"Stay...Please." Embarrassment and anger lay deep in his voice, but really it sounded more like pleading. Still the god didn't seem to bother, he was not even looking at the man.

"Loki, please... I."

The desperate begging apparently served its purpose, because now Loki sighed heavily and turned to face the engineer.

"You are clearly not yourself anymore. Not the man I have challenged. Where is your wit and complacency, or the sarcasm you preen yourself on? You are broken beyond repair, mortal."

He was right, but Tony couldn't help but stare at the god.

"I..." No words made it out despite this one and Loki reached down to cup the man's cheek.

"I know, poor, traumatized creature. Your species is so fragile and it hurts me to see my property so wounded."

Property. Yes, this was fitting. Tony had to admit that he was dependent on him. He was the only one that could save him from his nightmares, his fears, his thoughts. The indifferent face softened a bit when Tony tugged at his sleeve, pulling at the god to sit down next to him. Neither of them said a word. What had been awkward just a moment ago was now comfortable and Tony enjoyed the closeness. Loki pushed him down on the bed, kissing him, more gentle this time, almost affectionately and Tony suddenly craved the touch, needed it to live. His hands found the god's shoulders, holding onto him when he kissed back.

"Sleep now, Anthony."

He might have never heard him speak so soothingly and caring and before he could say anything, he blacked out. When he woke up the next morning, he was alone again.

* * *

_Review if you enjoyed this =)!  
_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Delusion**

It had been three weeks and four days since Loki had visited Tony. The man pretended to not count the days, but he involuntarily did and continued to do so with every new day. At first everything went back to normal, just as the last, or basically the first time Loki had taken him. He was able to work again, got things done, but that changed soon after.

If it had been only for the nightmares and the sleep deprivation, he could have managed that. But things had started to get worse by the day. Not only was the lack of sleep slowly driving him insane, the panic attacks came more often, leaving him shaking and sweating on the ground. Tony was miserable. Ignoring the problem didn't work. Drown himself in alcohol didn't work anymore. Hell had he tried that method. One time it had been so bad that Pepper had to call 911.

And the thing with Pepper? It went downhill. Nothing was like before. Even though Tony really had tried to act as if nothing was wrong. He had tried to maintain their relationship. But Pepper had started to notice the change in him. She had wanted him to get help, but Tony had protested vehemently against it. Even though that possibly was the only way to get rid of the PTSD. He wasn't going to open up to any of those quacks. So he endured it. Spent even more time away from the one he loved. Slowly driving her away.

There also had been that one time when Tony had gone out to party, to forget, to get himself distracted from thinking of the god. He had hooked up with that girl, didn't even remember her name, just to feel anything at all. Before anything could have happened, Rhodey had gotten his ass out of the club. Rhodey had lectured him about how he destroyed everything in his life, but for Tony it didn't matter anymore. Nothing did matter. Nothing but getting himself out of this pathetic state of mind. His whole world seemed to be centered around the god of mischief now. Every thought was wasted on him.

Tony came to realize that his initial PTSD had transformed into something even worse. Since Loki had decided to make him his property, his life had changed. This was an addiction, and Tony suffered from the major withdrawal symptoms. There was no way he could deny this. It felt like he was on drugs and was now forced to do a cold turkey. His body reacted to him as if he needed him to survive. All he could do was sit in his workshop and call out for the god. Who would not respond at all. Or appear for that matter. Still, whenever Pepper was away, Tony screamed his lungs out, pleading and begging for him to come. But the god didn't answer to any of his calls. Tony had resigned on the fact that he would actually care.

It had started this one evening that things went from bad to completely fucked up. After a whole night of drinking, his body shaking with exhaustion, he had seen him. Standing in the corner of the room, watching in silence. But when Tony had gotten up and gone to the spot, there had been nothing at all. No indication that anyone had been there. He had waved it aside, blaming the booze for this, but from there on, he had started seeing the god everywhere. Those were hallucinations. Manifestations of his subconscious mind, telling him what his body craved for. Tony knew that they weren't real. His brain told him that much. But for him they looked real. Even the familiar scent of the god reached his nostrils whenever he imagined to see him. Which was not right for a hallucination. He had looked it up.

Tony had the suspicion that this was no coincidence. Loki had talked about a spell that night. Even though he had declared soon after that there was no such thing, this couldn't be true. Why should he even feel like this. It didn't make sense to him. There was no way he would act like this if the god hadn't messed with his brain. He should have talked to Bruce about that condition, but had feared they would declare him insane. He couldn't talk to anybody about this. And that was what Tony did, keep it to himself, take meds against the sleep deprivation. Didn't care how much it took, at least he was able to sleep for a little while.

If it had been Tony's decision, he would never have left his house again. But Pepper had insisted that he showed himself to the public once in a while. Which had only made it worse for him. The press hadn't been very subtle, asked him questions he hadn't wanted to think about. He had kept his head up, had countered with witty responses, but as soon as he was back in Malibu, he had collapsed on the bathroom floor. Tony had sat there crying for hours, silently wallowing in self-pity, before looking into the mirror and seeing the god staring back. He slowly went insane.

A few days after the last panic attack, Tony had been finally able to get some rest, Pepper knocked on the door to Tony's workshop. The man turned instantly at the noise and waved her in, seemingly growing tense the moment she stepped through the glass door.

"Hey Pep..."

Tony pressed out and averted his gaze to not look her in the eyes. He couldn't manage that caring smile right now. Not when he wished to get fucked by a Nordic god.

"How are you doing today?" The calm voice spoke and a hand found his shoulder, making him wince.

"Better."

He lied. How so often in the latest time. Didn't want her to worry. Although he felt sorry for doing this to her, he couldn't just end this. Couldn't just tell her the truth and be done. She meant too much for him to let her go. How selfish he was for putting his needs abover hers.

"Glad you say this."

Tony saw the half-hearted smile from the corner of his eyes and faked one himself.

"Yeah..."

Pepper tried to look him in the eyes, but couldn't get the engineer to look up from his work.

"You know..." She started. "We have this event tonight. You told me you'd come."

Yes. He hadn't forgotten. She had begged him for days to say yes. And even though he didn't want to, it was what he had to do.

"I remember."

"Are you sure you're fine, Tony?"

Tony sighed and suddenly stood, beaming a smile at her.

"Yep, everything's fine, Hun."

He kissed her cheek gently and went pass her to get away. Pepper's face was full of sadness when she watched him moving up the stairs. A hand came up to cover her eyes. She knew that something was up, but couldn't get the man to talk to her. There was nothing she could do to make him feel better. And the longer she watched him getting worse, the more she suffered with him.

* * *

Tony was silent when they entered the building where the event was taking place. Actually he had been for the whole ride. He just wanted to get it over with. Dressed up in his best suit, he took Pepper's arm and walked right to the bar. The female didn't say anything at first, just kept standing behind him and watching him down his first shot. After the second drink was empty, she sat down next to him with a serious expression.

"Tony..." She stilled his hand from pouring himself another drink. "Stop... Please. You can't deliver a speech if you get yourself drunk."

Of course she was right, but that wasn't anywhere near his priority list right now. He had to be here, didn't want to be here, so she should let him drink as much as he wanted to. It was one of the last things he took some kind of pleasure from these days.

"Whatever..." He murmured under his breath and chugged another shot.

Pepper just sighed and crossed her arms, looking at everything but the man on her side. After a while, Tony was called on to the stage. People were waiting for him until Pepper tapped him on the shoulder and shoved him off his chair.

"Go." She pressed out.

And Tony did. Got up the stage and held his speech. Which went better than expected. But that was not high on a scale when you expect a catastrophe. Fortunately for him he had always been a natural speaker, so this was barely more than a Sunday stroll for him. It was mostly the same topic, marketing, over and over again. People only cared for what they wanted to hear and Tony always gave it to them. No one noticed him being tense, desperate or helpless. His voice was steady and that was all that mattered. He had learned to not get affected by his emotions when he spoke, faking the perfect image of an internationally respected inventor.

When Tony was almost done presenting the newest work of Stark Industries, he looked around the room. His eyes spotted a familiar face in all those people. Dressed in a nice black suit, green eyes stared right back at him. Tony suddenly started stuttering, lost the thread and choked on his words. His heart raced, beat in his ears and all he wanted was to rush over and press himself against him. A smug smile played on the man's lips when he turned and retreated from the huge room into a smaller corridor. There was no doubt it was him. This couldn't have been a hallucination. It just couldn't be.

Tony swallowed and continued with his speech, speaking faster, never taking his eyes of the spot where the man had vanished from the room. He grew increasingly tense by the second and when he finished his speech and the people in the room were applauding, he instantly got down from the stage, trying to cut his way through the crowd. He got to the small corridor and slowed down, looking around to see if someone had followed him. Tony opened the door to a small side room and slid inside, quickly shutting and locking the door behind him.

His eyes scanned the room and fixed on the man casually sitting on a baroque looking couch. No, definitely no hallucination. Tony took a few steps forward, admiring the god in his formal clothing. He stopped a few meters in front of him and gulped, fiddling with his jacket, not daring to step any closer to him. Loki was not smiling anymore, but looked at him with that indifferent expression which was typical for him. Tony wanted to say something, anything, but the words kept stuck in his throat.

For a few minutes both men did nothing but stare at each other, before Loki waved a hand at him to come nearer. Immediately Tony moved and dropped to his knees, looking up at the god, hands holding on to his clothes. This was a situation Tony had never thought finding himself in. Kneeling for his enemy, not on command, nor threatened. Desperate for a word, a touch, anything at all. He ground his teeth at his own thoughts and averted his gaze to the ground. Loki looked completely impassive, until Tony mumbled something incoherent.

"Speak clearly."

The seductive voice sounded and Tony instantly looked up to those vivid green eyes.

"I..." The engineer closed his eyes. "Where were you...I, I..." He stuttered.

Loki just raised an eyebrow and cocked his hand to the side.

"Where I was is none of your business, mortal."

That silenced him for more than a few minutes, until the god sighed, apparently taking pity on the mortal.

"I had business to take care of. What is it you want?"

An answer was unnecessary. The pleading eyes were enough for the god to speak up again.

"Hmm... So that whore didn't satisfy your hunger?"

The god's gaze on Tony was hard. He clearly wasn't amused. And Tony suddenly questioned his own sanity again. All those hallucinations. He wasn't sure anymore if they had been hallucinations at all. The god knew of his visit to the club. How could he know if he hadn't been there. Loki must had watched him. There was no other option. A hand cupped Tony's cheek, caressing the skin and tilting his chin up, yanking him from his thoughts.

"Poor soul. It does hurt you so badly. Makes you all tame and submissive."

Loki's lips turned into a smile. Not a malicious, but a pleased one.

"You pathetic creature just can't help yourself..."

The amusement now displayed in his voice was offending and Tony wanted to protest, but this was exactly how it was. He actually wondered why the god was so gentle and forgiving.

"I know what you crave, Anthony. But I will make you tell me exactly what you want."

The hand gripped Tony's neck, holding him in place, while the god towered over him.

"So? What do you want to do?"

Tony's lips were parted. He wanted to answer, but his pride wouldn't let him. With those eyes focused on him, he became suddenly aware of how hard he was. This whole dominating thing made him straining against his pants and without being able to stop himself, a moan escaped him when the hand pressed down harder on his throat. Tony's hand unconsciously reached up to touch the arm that held him, but no sound left him except for a whine. He didn't want to have to beg for anything. He was desperate, yes, but it wasn't that bad, right? The god did nothing but wait and look down on him. Tony knew that the longer he waited, the more likely his self-restraint would falter. He didn't like to be toyed with. He didn't want to be a plaything. He just wanted to...

"I won't wait any longer, human."

Loki growled. A sound that send a shiver right down to his cock, making it twitch inside his pants. Still, he just looked away, clinging to the hand on his neck. Finally, the god had enough and released the grip on Tony. With a snarl he was about to stand up, but Tony grabbed his jacket, pulling him back.

"Please..."

"Please what? Speak your mind."

The god demanded and the point was reached where Tony couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want to risk him leaving, didn't want to be alone again. Alone with his anxiety.

"Fuck... Fuck me."

That seemed to delight the god in front of him.

"Here? With all those people around? My aren't you desperate."

Loki's slender fingers loosened the man's tie and pulled him nearer to the couch.

"I won't ...take you here, Stark. But since you are so eager to please today...You will worship me another way."

Loki grinned and patted Tony affectionately. For a few second he didn't know what the god expected of him. But the lust-filled green eyes gazed down, before their eyes met again, giving him the broad hint. This was actually not how Tony had pictured this. He wanted release, relaxation, not pleasing that arrogant bastard. Tony just sat there on his knees for minutes, not moving an inch. A hand forcefully grabbed his hair and yanked him forward. Loki's mouth was dangerously close to his ear now.

"I know how hard it is for you to submit, but don't worry, pet. I will make you. You don't need to think, precious."

It was barely more than a whisper, his breath hot against Tony's skin. Precious pet. These words were ringing in his ears, before his head was guided down to Loki's lap. At first he was irritated by the god's command, not wanting to comply at all. A low, daring growl escaped the god above him, clearly showing the seriousness of this situation. Tony swallowed when the hand pushed him further down.

Loki forcing his will on him made it actually easier for him to do as he was told. There was this little side within him that still told himself he had no other chance, that he was forced to do this, that Loki controlled him in some way. The other half of him knew that this was a lie.

"Don't wait for me to make you, mortal." The god warned and Tony winced at the sound.

His hand reached up to place a finger on Loki's pants, slowly pulling the zipper down and releasing the already hard cock. Apparently the god hadn't bothered to wear any underwear, which made this whole thing easier for him. It was not that Tony was opposed to the idea of giving blow jobs, this wasn't even the first time he had done it with a man, but still this was different. As Loki had said, it was a gesture of submission, of worshiping his god. When did he became his god. Tony ground his teeth and cursed silently to himself for thinking this.

Shaky fingers wrapped around the god's length and Tony heard a pleased sigh from above his head. He moved a thumb over the sensitive head. Tony couldn't take his eyes from Loki anymore. The pleasured expression on Loki's face was mesmerizing and he remembered just how badly he had wanted to touch the god the last time they had been together. And seeing him like this, enjoying Tony's touch, made him feel antsy and hot all over. He was breathless before anything had even happened. Tony leaned in and licked over the head experimentally, not able to help himself. Just walking away was off the cards. Even if he would refuse, the god would make him do it. And he couldn't bring himself to stand up and go. He was too desperate to please, to get the reward of obeying. Loki had closed his eyes and hummed in pleasure. The hand in Tony's hair started to stroke it gently, tugging on it to encourage him.

"Hmm... yes."

The god moaned when lips encircled the tip of his cock. Hearing the god's praise spurred Tony's desire even more. He dragged his tongue from the base to his balls, nibbling on the shaft, before returning to the slit. When there was something he was good at, except for engineering, it was his ability to bring pleasure to his lovers. Not that he considered the god his lover, it was just... Loki seemed to have noticed the absence of Tony's mind and reminded him of his task with a smack to the back of his head.

"Focus."

The god hissed and Tony immediately complied, taking the tip into his mouth and sucking on it. He started taking more of the thick length into his mouth, until he swallowed him to the hilt. It was messy, spit dropping from his mouth when he bobbed his head. The man was completely lost in his task, licking and sucking on the god's member, moaning around it and sending vibrations right through the hard flesh. Tony's dick was pressing against the fabric of his pants and he wanted nothing more than to touch himself. One of his hands, that wasn't currently massaging the god's balls, moved down to his crotch and cupped himself, making him moan loudly around the dick in his mouth. Loki soon started to buck his hips, fucking the warm, wet mouth. And Tony let him. Wanted to be used and fucked by him. He gasped when the hand in his hair pulled him off the cock, lips holding on to it until it slipped out of his mouth. The man looked up to the god through half-lidded eyes, licking his lips.

"What?" Tony asked, confused by the sudden stop.

The god grimaced and turned him around. He pressed the mortal down with force, face first to the floor. Tony groaned when Loki yanked his pants down, almost ripping them apart, and pressed his erection against his cheeks.

"You make me so flustered, boy." He leaned down and whispered into Tony's ear, giving him goosebumps. "Your body is so perfect, I just have to..."

Loki didn't end his sentence and rubbed himself against the man, making both of them moan. Tony lay there, face on the ground, hips in the air, help up by Loki. He was shivering in anticipation. His body was lost in the image of Loki taking him, here in a room right next to where he had given a speech just a few minutes earlier. It was exciting. Dangerous. Which only made it better for him. Hands touched his sides, before reaching down and grabbing Tony's dick, stroking a few times. He felt the slickness of his precum, when a finger teased the slit, before the hand retreated. His eyes rolled back into his head when the digit moved to his entrance, circling and pushing pass the tight ring of muscles. Loki made quick work preparing and stretching him, occasionally licking over the man's shoulder blades to get him to relax. A second finger soon followed the first, scissoring him, making him slick. Tony rocked back on the fingers, fucking them, wanting more and whined when they left him. He withered and ached his back to get the feeling back, but Loki had his hip in a rock hard grip. He chuckled.

"How indigent, my poor pet."

Loki aligned himself and pressed the head of his cock inside, but didn't move any further, to the man's displeasure. Loki loved to play his kinky plays, Tony knew, but he just was too wretched and bothered to play. There was no patience left in him. He tried to push himself back on the cock and whined when he wasn't able to do so.

"Loki, please... I need..."

The god's face distorted into an evil grin.

"Hmm... Who am I, pet?"

The man inhaled sharply, looking over his shoulder to see the god's sharp, green eyes.

"You are..." He brought out. "A god."

"Whose god?"

The thick length left Tony's ass completely, making him wail. When there was no movement anymore, Tony got desperate.

"You..."

Fingers trailed over his cock again, making it twitch under the caress.

"You are my god."

Amused, Loki pressed inside again and gave a roll of his hips, burying himself to the hilt inside the man. Without giving him time to adjust, Loki started moving his hips. Tony shuddered in pleasure, instantly trying to move back on the cock. The god observed the face of the mortal, looked at the parted lips and how they moved in time with his thrusts. The rhythm was slow, agonizingly so. Even though Tony like the feeling, he needed more. He needed to come so badly, so he opened his eyes and looked at Loki with deluded, brown eyes.

"Please... Loki, I..." He pleaded.

"You are so beautiful, mortal, how could I possibly object to this."

Loki crooned and thrust hard into the man, hitting his prostate and sending sparks of pleasure through his body. The movement became merciless, each roll of Loki's lips aimed for the sweet spot, making Tony see white. He cried out the god's name shamelessly, panting against the hard concrete and rocking his hips back to meet the thrusts. He didn't care if anyone could hear him. Didn't care that someone could come in. The only thing that mattered was Loki fucking him right now. Tony's dick leaked precum now, straining to get attention. He wanted to touch himself and reached down to stroke his erection, only to get pinned down even harder by the god. One of Loki's hands came down hard on the neck of the man, nails digging into the flesh, leaving marks. Tony could hear him chuckle breathlessly right beside his ear.

"Yes, mortal. Make yourself come for me."

The voice was sending shivers over Tony's skin. He moaned loudly when delicate fingers joined his and started stroking with him.

"You will come so beautifully. I will make sure that you will feel good, boy."

Loki's rhythm grew more frantic, soon he was slamming into him with more force. It didn't take long for the engineer to see stars. His eyes were closed when he came over both of their hands with a shout. Loki growled when Tony's body clenched down on him and only a few more thrusts were needed for the god to follow the mortal, spending his seed deep inside him. Tony's hips were released and without the god holding him up, collapsed on the ground. For a few minutes he just lay panting and sweating on the floor, feeling relaxed and satisfied, even when he was covered in cum. Loki had already zipped up his fly and stalked around the room, never taking his eyes off the man. He bowed down to run a hand over the messy hair.

"Hmm..." The god mused and Tony's eyes shot open to look at the green ones. "Are you pleased now?"

The voice asked and Tony could just nod, before he tried to get on his knees. He was still looking miserable, sitting there without his pants, cum dripping down his tight. He grimaced and looked away, embarrassed by himself. This time Tony was cleaned up and dressed instantly by the Loki's magic.

"Hmm."

The sound drew Tony's attention back to the kneeling god.

"You are too intriguing."

The man was picked up, much to his dislike and was placed on the couch.

"I will leave now, mortal. But fear not. As soon as my hunger for you returns, I will be back and take you."

The god vanished before Tony could even reply. And suddenly he felt sick again. Tired and exhausted, his body ached everywhere. This couldn't be normal. The spell Loki had put on him had to have some kinds of side effects. Tony felt incredibly nauseous and thought he was about to throw up, when someone pressed down the door handle and entered. It was Pepper, standing there with the most pitiful expression he had ever seen on her face.


End file.
